Tales of Disputed Interest
by Vehicle Sunshine
Summary: Drabbles describing Zuko's sad childhood. Various pairings including ZukoxMei, ZukoxTai Li, and ZhaoxAzula
1. MY EYYEEESSSS!

Disclaimer: If I did own Avatar, I would be so fucking rich. And you would all serve me pizza in exchange for spoilers. Yeah.

And yes, this is short. Like, midget short. BUT, what it lacks in size, it makes up in sheer nothingness. And anything with gay!Zuko in it is bound to be good. SO SAYS I!

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"GIVE ME IT!"

"NEVER!"

Iroh, once the Great Dragon of the West (He could have been the dragon of the east if he wasn't bad at rock paper scissors..), ducked nonchalantly. A fireball, nearly the size of a cabbage, was aimed at his 10-year-old nephew, Prince Zuko, by his 8-year-old niece, Princess Zula. Apparently, Zuko had taken one of her dresses with the intent to wear it. Again. He is a very confused child.

"IT LOOKS BETTER ON ME!"

Very, very confused.

Before Zula could succeed in burning her brother beyond all recognition, Iroh grabbed her. "What happened this time?" he asked.

Zula tried her hardest to break free, but soon gave up. "He took my training bra this time.." she sighed. Did I mention how confused Zhao's bit... I mean ZUKO, is. Heh. Don't kill me.

Suddenly, a head appeared from behind a wall. "Is that bitch tranquilized and chained yet?" Zuko whispered. Zula screamed and tackled him, just randomly scratching at his face.

"MY EYES! MY EYES! YOU'RE RIPPING OUT MY EYES!"

"DON'T BE A PANSY! YOU ONLY NEED ONE!"

Sadly, before Zula could cause any real damage (besides the scratching and the bleeding and the oy it's painful), the Super Cool Awesome Totally Not Gay Fire Lord Above Everyone Else and The Most Radical Leader of Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow, FIRE LORD OZAI! I have a gun pointed to my head help me!

Zuko bowed, his eyes still being gouged out by the still pissed as hell Zula. "Zuko, I am ashamed that you would steal your sister's bra. There is a time and place for that, and that is called college!" Zuko ran away crying. Zula wiped some blood off her hands. "And you didn't even SLIGHTLY maim him! You're going soft, Zula."

"He was wearing fifteen layers of makeup; it was difficult."

"Eh. I still give it a 7/10 for the eye thing. Have a cookie."

"Thank you, Daddy!"

And Zula and Zhao lived happily ever after, and they got a yacht. The End.


	2. Cowards

Ziggy: If Morgan owned Avatar, Zuko would be thrown in the seme pit.  
P.S: I'm not changing Azula's name in the first chapter. Too bad, so sad.

Zuko had often tried to rule the palace. He stole random undergarments of Azula's and hung them up in the market. He sent letters containing naughty ideas to her crushes.

But he was clearly outnumbered and outmatched. Not to mention screwed beyond all belief.

"ZUZU!"

He turned a corner and fled into his Uncle's room. Thinking quickly, he dove into the closet. Despite the old man smell, it was safe. Safe...

"Predictable hiding place, big brother!"

There was a scream of upmost terror. Azula, Tai Li, and Mei tackled Zuko to the ground. The 10 year-olds giggled. "LET'S PLAY AGAIN!" Tai Li cried, spinning and jumping around. Mei simply nodded while Azula smirked. Their parents had gone on "Important Fire Nation Business" (A.k.a: A trip to the spa) and had left the poor 11 year-old to watch his little sister and her friends.

He KNEW his Uncle was somewhere, but he always seemed the disappear whenever Mei came over... 'Coward!' Zuko realized how stupid that sounded; Calling someone a coward while you're running for your life...

"Quick, in here!"

He paused and turned. "Who's there?" he asked sharply. His Uncle's head popped out from behind a statue of some ancestor. "... How the heck did you fit back there?"

"Just get in!" He darted behind the statue just as the three girls ran by. Mei paused for a second near the statue sending a chill up Zuko's spine. "Azula, your ancestors are ugly." Zuko breathed a sigh of relief as she turned and walked away.

"Good, they're gone." Iroh turned and tapped on the wall. Suddenly, to Zuko's complete surprise, the wall opened up and revealed a small passageway. One not too small, but still small enough that Zuko had to bend when he stood up.

"I built this passageway in my youth with your father. We would use to sneak out of the castle after bedtime and visit your mother. It's been closed for years, but I use it now to hide from Mei." Zuko laughed slightly. He knew his Uncle was deathly afraid of Mei.

"The girls leave at sundown when Mother and Father come back. What do we do till then?" he asked. The older man grinned and revealed a pot of tea and a Pai Sho game board. "I always come prepared."

And the two played and drank all day. The girls searched for them, but gave up eventually and played with dolls all day (Actually, they chopped the heads off the dolls with a little guillotine)

And at the end of the day, sure Iroh and Zuko were cowards, running away from little girls like little pansy boys. But they were cowards TOGETHER! -Collective Aw-


End file.
